2009-2010 Shining Light Member's blog

So now it’s getting tough. It’s day 8 and I doubt that anyone in the group has gotten a full 8 hours of sleep in quite a while. Mayyyybe members got a full night’s rest at Yosemite, because I think everyone hit the hay pretty early that night after a long afternoon of hiking, but sleep was on and off with the freezing weather conditions we were facing in our tent cabins. When we walked into the cabins, I heard a few people say “A heater?! In California?! WHAT?!”, but they weren’t asking the same question that night when they were freezin’ their tushies off! Man oh man oh MAN did it get cold that evening. A test of endurance faced us, but I am happy to report that everyone survived =) I was able to gaze over Eva’s blog, and I really have nothing more to say about that. Excellent job, Eva.

Yesterday we traveled to Fresno Juvenile Justice Center in preparation for our back to back shows in their Commitment Unit. Today, we did the same. We met Chaplain Ron Climer, and let me tell you, he isn’t your ordinary Chaplain. Ron was quite the trouble maker in his early years, and he considers it a blessing that he is still alive today. To give you a glimpse into the daily life of Ron is to say that he was addicted to heroin, once made a list of all the people he wanted to kill (and proudly shared it with his cousin and wife), and almost lost his wife and children through the writing of that very same list. The list was the final straw for Ron’s wife. She planned to take their two children and run from her husband, but she never did. She did not leave that night because she was open to the calling of God’s will for her life. Chaplain Ron has done his time in and out of correctional facilities; 50 years to be exact. He served time for 13 years, and has been working as a Chaplain for the rest. Why does he choose to wake up every day and willingly walk through the doors of the same place that locked him up years ago? To use his words and not mine, it is because he wants to give back to the system that he so wrongly took from before he knew Jesus. Now tell me THAT guy hasn’t been humbled!

After two days (but only one setup and one teardown–YAY!) and four presentations, we are a tired group. After a rowdy group last evening, a member of Shining Light reminded us that even though they laughed at us, it did not matter. In reality, they were not our audience. God was our audience. Additionally, two of our shows were especially exciting for me because there were GIRLS sitting in front of us! We haven’t had girls in our audience all season! It was such a joy to be able to make eye contact with the girls. Their faces were hard at the beginning of the program, as I expected them to be. But all it took was a smile, and the ice was melted. I gave them my smile, they gave me their hearts. I will certainly be praying for those girls tonight, because I could, at any moment, have made the decisions they did and ended up where they are.

You wanna know about the weasel? (Status: Currently discouraged. Why Because I just lost a substantial amount of information when my internet connection failed.) (Status: Currently encouraged. Why? Because I just looked up from the laptop I’m typing on, saw the mass chaos that just erupted in the school gym as Shining Light members and staff begin to wreak havoc with their suitcases, sleeping bags, and air mattresses, and grinned. I’m gonna miss this group.) Ok, so, the weasel is a super cool dude. A former gangster since the age of 13, the weasel from Salinas, whose real name is Tony Ortiz, is a true testament to what God can do in our lives. Tony was really the worst of the worst; he did time in San Quentin and a variety of other places in the country. How he did not die in gang violence, I do not know. He does not know. His wife does not know. God knows. Only God. He had a bigger plan for Tony Ortiz. A plan to love him, and lead him to Him. Though the power of the Lord, an illiterate man was ordained as a minister. The first book Tony ever read was the Bible. Today, Tony is an extremely influential man throughout the entire country. 29 years ago, the Lord led Tony to found a ministry that is today known as the California Youth Outreach. He and his team go into the streets and talk to youth who are caught up in gangs. They are working on gang prevention. They are not armed with weapons. They are armed with the Word of God. I…well, I have nothing more to say about that. I think that it speaks for itself. I encourage you to pray for Tony Ortiz, his staff, and the hearts of the men and women on the streets. Pray that the Lord and His principles will go ahead of them and calm the storms.

Thank you for reading. I have to thank God for keeping my eyes open while I wrote this. =)

Welp, see ya later!

(Guest blog on Yosemite from Eva, who we’ll likely be hearing more from next year, as she’ll be blogging more regularly for Shining Light)

There is truly something to be said about the beauty of God’s creation and it’s affect on our mood as well as our perspective of our place in this world. Coming to Yosemite National Park for two days right in the heart of Tour is a really interesting chance to revamp your attitude and get your head right for the duration of the trip. Waking up early has never been a delight for me, but for this free time, I was totally okay with waking up at the crack of dawn. On Monday (day 5) we woke up, packed up, and headed out on what would be a sleep filled six-hour bus ride. At this point we had all been riding the spiritual high from our fantastic San Quentin experience but it was beginning to wear off as we realized we could finally relax for the day. After catching up on a little sleep, and seeing more of why they call it the Golden Coast, we awoke to a world of new wonders and trees that for the first time looked familiar! Suddenly the scenery around us was swimming with dark greens and thick browns, not at all the golden rolling hills we have now begun to expect. We had entered Yosemite and on the ride in alone saw cliff sides bigger than cities, waterfalls crashing into the house-sized boulders and trees that appeared to stretch on forever. With nothing but our backpacks and our goals we all embarked on what turned into a great adventure that I will never forget.

It quickly became apparent to me that I was no leader of the pack. But that was totally okay with me. I had set my goal, and I was going to meet it when the day was done. I was determined to make it to the top of Vernal Falls and back…preferably without dying. Thanks to Gisy, I made that goal, and she did likewise. We quickly paired off and set the pace. Through the extreme ups, where she endured, and the downhill slopes where I excelled, we took turns periodically waiting for the other to catch up, before moving on. In true Shining Light fashion this process of accountability finally found us at the footbridge, which was just the halfway marker. Stopping only for a few pictures, we continued on the next leg of the journey—more hills… exactly what I wanted. But we made it up.

The last stretch of the journey was stairs. An infinite number of stairs stretched out before us ending only God knows where, but we kept climbing. As the waterfall finally came into view, I fell behind from our group because of downward travelling hikers and having to share the precariously shaped rock-stairs. The falls were excitingly close, but I found myself overtaken by the wild whipping winds and the fiercely cold spray, to the point where I became soaked to the bone and it took mere survival to spur sore muscles onward. After re-entering the safety of the trees, I rejoined the group, posing for a few pictures, and hearing Gisy’s resolve to turn back now. How could this happen with the end goal so near in sight! So close to achieving what we set out to do! I wasn’t having that defeatist attitude for a second. I told her that we started this thing together and we were ending this thing together. So we pushed forward.

All the words I could ever write (and as you can tell, I like to write a lot) could never express to you quite the satisfaction of getting to the top of the falls. Setting a goal, working hard for it (I mean really hard), and finally reaping the reward of what you had to maintain was worth it all along changed my perspective of giving up. There were so many times where it got hard in which I could have easily said, I’ve gotten this far, let’s just turn back and be pleased with what I have. But I never did. Quitting wasn’t even an option, and when faced with my partner almost giving in, I was not shaken in my resolve. I was going to make it. And when I did, the beauty stretched out before me was truly something to behold. It was all the more beautiful to me because I had earned the honor of sharing in God’s glorious creation.

In my reflection of the day that night in our tent-cabins, I realized that a lot of our experiences through the day could be likened to our experiences on tour. There are so many times were we get tired, irritated, cranky, and homesick. But we focus our eyes ahead on the goal that we have set in furthering the kingdom. We keep going because we’re all relying on each other. We press on, with strength that is not our own, leaning on God to do things that we could never even imagine in and of ourselves. This is a huge part of our devotions for the week, taking a chance and stepping out of our boat to walk on water with God. For me, hiking a mountain to get to the top of a waterfall was not a boat. I love hiking and always have. But not quitting when it got hard, and pushing my physical limits totally was a boat I was in. With the help of my strong friends, I am proud to say, I made the choice to step out of my boat. I saw the wind, and felt afraid as the water pushed in on me from every side, and in my need, Jesus did not let me be overtaken by the storm. Instead, when I doubted my ability to go on, I called out to Him, and he lifted me from the water, resulting in me growing in faith and strength.

(supposed to have been posted yesterday, but, due to the lack of 3G service at Yosemite, had to wait until today!)

So I just woke up from taking a nap on the bus floor a little bit ago. You’ll never know how comfortable it is till you try it—honest! Now I’m writing this blog as we make the four and a half hour journey to Yosemite for a bit of a change of scenery. The landscape at Point Bonita was gorgeous, but I think the beauty is going to be taken to a whole new level when we arrive at Yosemite. Jeff Bohn just passed out maps of the park, and there are an overwhelming amount of things to see and do in the short span of time we have for exploring. I can’t wait to fill you in on everything we’re about to experience. I hope you’ll come back and read it =)

During the writing of this blog, I was told by a Shining Lighter that her father has been reading my blog and was deeply moved by my entry detailing San Quentin. I hope this one ranks up there. I gotta admit, it’s hard to find a quiet place when 60 of your closest friends are surrounding you. Then to be able to focus your mind and to relay to your readers into a short blog EVERYTHING that happened during that day…lets just say that it is certainly not the easiest thing in the world.

I truly don’t mean to sound cliché, but there really is no way I could possibly share with you the feelings I felt yesterday during our morning performance at San Quentin. This is the most notorious prison in the world, housing inmates such as Scott Peterson and at one time, Charles Manson. Before we performed at San Quentin, Teen Challenge Training Center was by far my favorite place to perform. The atmosphere was something that you just can’t explain. The guys were on fire for the Lord and expressed their most sincere thanks for our ministry. The worship was powerful and the testimonies were raw and personal. But San Quentin…wow. Just..wow. Our performance yesterday was in place of the men’s chapel service, so we included some worship songs before and after the show to allow the men to praise God with us using music they were familiar with. The men stood and raised their hands to our awesome God and I could not help staring out into the sea of blue. Into the faces of men who would easily be spending more than 25% of their lives in prison. You know what I wanted to do to these men if you read my last blog. I did not want to condemn them, or make them feel shame or pain. I wanted to hug them. Because I couldn’t, I had to ask the Lord to do it for me.

After the show, Kelly gathered a few of us together to be videotaped for an interview. Our show had been videotaped, and along with the interview questions and answers given by Shining Light members, it will be showed to the inmates at San Quentin who will be spending the rest of their lives on death row. I know what you are thinking. I could not believe it myself. Our performance is likely to be the last shred of hope for these men to turn from their sin and lay it upon the cross with Jesus Christ. I simply cannot stress the importance of prayer for these men. I ask you to please not forget the words you just read.

Their story is not over. The last word has not been spoken. God is good.
The landscape is about to get exciting…so that’s all for now.

I’ll leave you with these words, straight from the Associate Warden at San Quentin State Prison in California:

“I’ve worked at San Quentin for 23 years. We’re had the band Metallica perform here. And Shining Light…blew them out of the water!”

Woo, we’re cooler than Metallica! =)

Happy Father’s Day to all of you amazing father’s! I love and miss you dad, and I hope you are having a wonderful day fishing =)

I suppose you could say that things could have started out on a better note this morning. My alarm went off early. Early early early. And to top it off, I could not find my cell phone, so as the AT&T theme song played over and over (and over again), my bunk buddies began to moan, groan, and rise from the dead (er, I mean rise from their sleep). I do have to give thanks to God for the wonderful showers provided for us here at Point Bonita. The water is hot and the shower curtain covers the entire opening to the stall. In Shining Light, we find these things rarely happen, especially together. As I was walking to the dining hall, I was told that our first service scheduled at San Quentin today was canceled. For the exact reason why, I do not know. It is a bummer, yes. I trust that God has our best interest in mind and He is keeping us safe here at Point Bonita. I pray that all of the issues at San Quentin are resolved before our second performance is scheduled to start today. If God wants us there, He will lead us with a steady hand.

Yesterday, Kelly led the group outside for a time of worship and devotions. We sat on logs in a large clearing overlooking the Golden Gate and sang praises to God as the sun warmed us. Then each of us found a quiet place and spoke to God. I am enjoying this year’s devotionals so much. It is going to take faith for me to live out the devotionals though, and truly take a step out on the water. It’s hard to leave the comfort and security of a boat. There are no seat belts, nothing stable to hold onto when you are walking out on the storms of life. Ah, but there is Jesus. I can just hear Him saying these words: “You can trust me. You know my character and my competence. You can safely place your destiny in my hand. Take courage. It’s me.” Mmm, that fills my heart with joy.

Ok, I know you have all been waiting to hear about San Quentin. I can just see all of you mothers at home, biting your nails, nervously awaiting the phone call from your son or daughter to let you know that we’re all ok. So, just in case you haven’t gotten that phone call yet, we’re all ok =) Our show was simply incredible. God knew that I was tired yesterday, and He reached down His hand and lifted me up, and held me there, and you know what? I’m pretty sure He also gave me a shot of adrenaline. I was on fire and committed to our performance. When I looked out at our audience, it was no longer a performance. It was a calling for those men to listen. It was a challenge for those men to think about their lives, their destinies. It was an invitation to a great and powerful and forgiving and graceful and loving God. The one who did not spare His son, but because of His great love for us, destined for Him to die a wretched death on the cross. As I peeked out at our audience before the show began, I felt absolute sorrow for them. Each and every one of them wore a blue shirt; at San Quentin, blue is the color of doom. It is the color they’ll be wearing for 25+ years. Yes, every man in our audience was serving a prison term of 25 years to life. My heart went out to these men. One man reminded me of my father; they were probably the same age. Another could have been my grandfather. There was pain and hurt and fear for the future in their eyes. I wanted nothing more than to draw them close to me and hug them. But of course, that is not allowed. These men are dangerous. They are smooth talkers. But in God’s eyes, there sins are no greater than mine. We are all going to hell unless we enter into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. There is no getting around it! God intended for it to be this way, and this way will be glorious for those who draw near to the Lord. Can I get a Hallelujah?!

This post is untitled for one reason alone. The Lord absolutely overwhelmed me yesterday. As man after man stood in the audience, thanking us for our compassion and ministry and sharing their stories with us, I held back tears wondering what I was going to call this post. There are few things that are more raw than a man who is serving a life sentence at San Quentin Prison sharing his heart with you. I can not begin to formulate a response to that. The Lord is at San Quentin. Not just when Shining Light Ministries comes troopin’ in to share His name, but because He lives and He loves His children!

As I sit here, some members sing worship along with Kelly as she plays her guitar in the dining hall. We are so blessed to have such talented musicians to lead us in worship. Thank you to our band and singers! You truly don’t get enough credit.

Thank you for reading. Please continue to pray for us! We love you all.

I have a confession. I was confused for at least a minute when I looked at the time in the bottom corner of this laptop and it read 3:23pm. I read in my tour book this morning that the group would be boarding the bus to San Quentin at 1:00pm today, so I thought I was going a little crazy. The three hour time difference is definitely taking its toll on members and staff here in CA; when you walk through the halls of the dorm at 10:00pm, it is surprisingly quiet as people are preparing to go to sleep. This morning, it wasn’t out of the ordinary to wake up at 6:00am feeling refreshed. I gotta admit-I don’t know if I have ever woken up at 6:00am feeling refreshed. I’m willing to bet that we’ll all be adjusted to the time change just about the time we’ll be heading back to PA.

California is still beautiful, just in case you were wondering. Yesterday on our two and a half hour bus ride to Preston Youth Correctional Center in Ione, CA, we drove through a number of cities and saw a plethora of diverse scenery. Although he’s no Dave Stoltzfus (who is our totally awesome Elite Coach bus driver from back home in PA), our bus driver for the past two days, Darrell, has been a very educational tour guide. Once we arrived at Preston YCC (if you are wondering if the amazing food staff gave us snack on the bus, they did we were welcomed by Chaplain Skaggs, who expressed a genuine thanks for our visit to his facility. The group persevered through a challenging set-up on an auditorium stage, and our first show went smoothly, as least from my perspective. After the show, two of the young men were asked by Chaplain Skaggs to stay after and speak to our group. Mr. Felix and Mr. Griffith, as the Chaplain called them, were respectful young men who opened their hearts to us within a matter of minutes. Mr. Felix was taking college courses at the center, and was looking forward to working at Best Buy or Staples upon his leave. At the end of his five year sentence, Mr. Griffith plans to become a productive member of society, contributing to the welfare of his community. He knows that he can not undo all the destruction he caused in his community, the decisions that landed him in Preston YCC, but he is looking forward to going back home so he can give back a little bit of what he took away. He impressed me with his kindness and heart for the younger boys in the center when he told us that he voluntarily lives in the behavioral management ward. These are the boys that misbehave on a regular basis; fighting is a daily occurrence. Mr. Griffith lives in here not because he’s a fighter, but because he wants to be a mentor. He is also attending college classes at the center and is looking forward to beginning a career when he is released in two and a half years. The boys brought tears to my eyes. They were raw. They were real. They have faced more pain in their twenty years than I will face in my life. Seeing someone die had become normal to them; they were numb to the pain. But God is softening their hearts. After two years, they are ready to leave the past behind them. And I really hope our show gave them hope. The reality is that some of these young men will be dead two weeks after they are released because they will go back to the exact same environment that landed them at Preston. Please pray for them.

I know this blog is being posted a little late, but this morning the first thing on my mind was not sitting down in front of a laptop. It was marveling at God’s creation at Point Bonita. Worshiping Him through song. Talking to Him in prayer. You should have seen the smile on my face when I was sitting in the grass, looking out over the water at the Golden Gate Bridge. I felt as though God was sitting there next to me, with His arm around me, keeping me warm. It really doesn’t get much better than that.

Till next time..

Hey guess what. SHINING LIGHT IS IN CALIFORNIA! =)

That’s right; we made it safely to California. It was an early morning for everyone, meeting at New Covenant at 4:30am (I considered taking a poll to see how many members didn’t even bother going to sleep last night), but it was pretty awesome to see the excitement level of almost every member in the group at such an early, early (did I mention early?) hour. Our plane ride 3,000 miles across the country was enjoyable for many reasons for me specifically. First, I was flying with 65 of my closest friends, so that’s just exciting in itself. Second, our flight attendant was extremely accommodating to our requests, including having seconds on snacks and switching our drink orders. My favorite part of the flight, by far, was being able to sit by the window and marvel at God’s wonderful creation spread out below me.

So now we’re at Point Bonita, and lemme tell you, it is absolutely gorgeous here. After I read my devotional today, I went outside by the water and prayed, and I just felt this overwhelming presence that God was there with me. And if I open my eyes to Him this week, I’ll surely see that He is everywhere. He preserved all of our food as it traveled across the country in a freezer on a tractor trailer. He safely guided our plane through the air. He will give us the energy to get up 6:00am tomorrow morning and perform our show in front of troubled youth at Preston Youth Correctional Center. He is here. And He loves us.

With that, I leave you. I’m sure you can understand how exhausted we all are. Plus, I think snack is ready

See ya tomorrow!

“I’ve had 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches, and 2 dinners today. I was gonna go to bed, but snack is in 7 minutes, so I’ll stay up for that. You know you’ve been up for too many hours when you have that many meals in one day.”

-Matt Brandt